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- You start “seizing the day” before 12 noon and start ceasing it at after reruns of Seinfeld…at 10:30PM
- Your body starts giving out on you. Knees, back, eyesight; and here you thought you’d have to wait until your 30s
- You start trying to reverse the irreparable damage you did to your body back in college. But that’s like eating an apple right before a dentist’s appointment.
- You end your college romance with PBR; only to replace it with a love/hate relationship with boxed wine
- You party every week, at the same time…over Scrabble and said boxed wine
- You replace whiny nihilism with well-adjusted cynicism
- You start not only looking like your parents, but becoming them
