After months of searching, you’ve finally found your match. It only took a couple of awkward one-offs and a healthy dose of weird, but you’ve done it. And then before you know it, the phone stops ringing, the text stop coming, and you avoid each other in the halls. But that’s O.K. It’s fine. Totally copacetic. It was just a casual, no pressure arrangement anyway.
I’m not talking about Tinder though; I’m talking car pooling. But wouldn’t you know it, like Tinder, there are rules at play. Hell, there’s etiquette. Because you were none the wise, you probably blew it. And since you did, you’re probably wondering what you could’ve done differently.
Was it your morning breath? Your overuse of cologne? Did you talk too much? Too little? Did you get too personal? Was it the follow through? Were you too eager?
For most, like dating, carpooling is an intimate and precarious dance between distance and intimacy. It may seem confusing and arbitrary, but fear not, here’s a guide to locking in that perfect carpool. And yes, all these rules are perfectly transferrable to Tinder. So there’s your two for one.
- Get yourself out there and don’t settle too early. You gotta diversify. You’ve got 5 whole work days, so there’s no need to commit to any one person immediately. It’s a buffet and you gotta try before you buy. Lock in something too early and there’s not just opportunity cost, but a big risk of buyer’s remorse if things take a turn for the worse.
- Be upfront about your needs. There’s nothing worse than feigning flexibility or settling for their terms, only to become stringent with your schedule later.
- Don’t be a flake. Nobody likes flakes. Nobody. There’s no bigger way to push away your carpool buddy than canceling last minute. Not sure if you’re able to commit to a date? That’s on you. Don’t leave them hanging. Keep things honest and open.
- Be honest. If you’re exploring other, um, arrangements, be forthcoming about it. That leaves the person to fill the empty seat, or at least start prospecting.
- Have realistic expectations. This isn’t a Cinderella story or Beverly Hills Cop. It doesn’t need to be a fairy tale – it just needs to work. Just because you’re not having a grand time sticking bananas into tailpipes doesn’t mean that things aren’t working. This is real life kid, comfort and reliability go far.